Your questions answered
Surrogacy can be a wonderfully rewarding experience for everyone involved. As you
will see from Our Stories this is reflected in what we have experienced ourselves.
Your questions answered
You are considering doing one of the most amazing things that one human being can
do for another. But, it is important to be upfront: being a surrogate mother is
an emotionally and physically demanding task. It is important that a woman considering
this option has the backing of a partner, family or friends to provide emotional
support and practical help throughout and after the pregnancy. Surrogacy is not
something to enter into lightly. Careful consideration must be given to the medical,
emotional, legal and practical issues, and to the implications of surrendering the
child at birth. Thought must also be given to the effect on any existing children,
the potential surrogate mother’s partner, family and friends.
Will I be out of pocket?
Absolutely not. While it is illegal for a surrogate to receive payment, it is perfectly
legal (and expected within Surrogacy UK) that the IPs will pay you for any reasonable
expenses that you incur. This might cover loss of earnings; the cost of maternity
clothes; the travel costs that you and your family incur when you visit the IPs;
and the travel and accommodation costs for attending any fertility clinic or hospital
appointments. Childcare costs to look after your own children if you’re away from
home will also be paid.
At Surrogacy UK it is also expected that IPs pay for any counselling or professional
support, in connection with surrogacy, that you may need during pregnancy and after
birth. Surrogacy UK’s full rules and policies are set out in a separate document
– Rules and Policies. Please make the time to review this important document.
Are there any criteria for becoming a surrogate?
A potential surrogate mother must be in good overall health and be able to undergo
a pregnancy with the minimum amount of risk to her own health. Some medical conditions
will prevent a woman becoming a surrogate mother, for example if there are any known
medical problems which could lead to complications with the pregnancy, or put the
surrogate at risk.
As the risks of illness and problems are much higher in the first pregnancy, it
is strongly recommended that surrogates should have borne at least one child previously,
and preferably have completed her own family. Only in very exceptional cases should
a woman who has not had a child herself consider becoming a surrogate mother. Surrogacy
UK does not have an upper age limit for surrogates, however, as the risks of pregnancy
increase with age, any woman over 35 should give careful consideration before offering
to become a surrogate mother.
Death in pregnancy and childbirth is not common but it does happen. 1 in 10,000
pregnancies result in the death of the pregnant woman.
How do I choose which Intended Parents to work with?
Surrogate Mothers often feel guilty because they feel that they are playing God
with someone’s life. A Surrogate Mother can’t help everyone, but if she decides
to help just one couple, she will have changed that couple’s life forever and have
given the most extra-ordinary gift.
Your choice of which Intended Parents to work with can only be a decision for you
and your family, but below we have tried to think of a number of points you may
want to bear in mind:
Surrogacy is very much about personalities and you will be spending a lot of time
together before, and probably after, the baby is born. At Surrogacy UK we very firmly
believe that friendship should come first and surrogacy second. If you find a couple
that you like, and who you trust as friends, then you will have a strong foundation
for a Surrogacy Arrangement.
How long will it take?
There is no ‘usual’ time frame for finding the couple that is right for you. Some
Surrogate Mothers find a fantastic couple straight away; others may meet two or
three couples before they find the right ones. The most important thing is that
you and your family are totally comfortable with your choice. If you do not take
time to get to know one another before becoming pregnant, nine months can seem a
very long time!
Can I be a member of Surrogacy UK and another surrogacy organisation?
Surrogacy UK does not restrict you from joining another organisation – after
all, the point of Surrogacy UK is to allow families to be created.
At the same time we do firmly believe that the Surrogacy UK way of doing things
is the best way, and that there are avoidable risks in other ways-of-doing things.
It is for this reason that once a Member enters a surrogacy arrangement with a Non-Member,
it is not possible for them to maintain Member status and they will instead be given
Friend of Surrogacy UK status for the duration of that arrangement. We would, though,
welcome the Non-Member to join us if they wished.
Membership of Asian Surrogacy is completely
free for Surrogate Mothers.
If you would like to have a confidential chat about Surrogacy UK, the support we can offer you, and our joining process, then please contact Dr. Milind Bhise or Dr. Neelam Bhise. Both are experienced surrogate mothers and would love to talk things through with you.
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News & Events
- Risks of using an unregistered donor
- If you don’t use a registered donor from an HFEA licensed clinic:
- you could be putting your health and that of the unborn child at risk as the same
checks and screening do not apply
- the legal position is less clear and the donor could have a claim on or responsibility
for the child
- people born as a result will not have a statutory right to access information about
their donor from the HFEA register.